The Day I Got Literally Elevated....

"Vaishnodevi Sojourn"

Jai Mata Di!!!
The cry that fills every heart with prayers and sanctity was coming from every direction.The air was laden with waft of sweet divinity.The believers were singing,dancing and chanting in sync with their climbing feet.I was in trance.I was in awe.Never before my mind felt this milndlessness.I was experincing bliss.
                       It all started when i recieved a phone call from my brother.He asked(actually told me!!)me to come to delhi for a trip to the sacred mountain of Mata Vaishnodevi which he had planned alongwith his three other friends.And I set sail.Catching the train to delhi was the first task,so after that i was left with the task of finding my brother`s new dwelling place.As i didnt had any google maps or GPS with me,and the rickshawallah knew the place as good as me,it took me a good 1-1.5 hours more than it should have to dump the load on my back.
      After a sumptous meal and a refreshing bath in the afternoon,my well fed stomach ordered my mind to close my eyelids.In the evening all set to go,we fed our rucksacks.The auto took us to the railway station where we met up with our other Co-yatramen.A first class AC coach which was anything but like an AC coach took me into its arms and lullaby`ed  me into a soundless sleep.
          Morning dawned ,and with that last sip of the tea from the papercup,we took off to find our next carrier.Having being welcomed by an unexpected sweltering heat in Jammu,we were hoping for a better show in katra,the next stop wheerwe were headed to.Having boarded a bus to katra,the vaishnodevi sojourn now was on road.
      The flying past visions truly spellbounding,I ignored the heat,I shook off the growing oscitances.The eyes now could see in the distance the summit wherein lies the heavenly abode.Bus journey over,we afforded ourselves a hotel where after getting fresh,we had a nice luncheon.The call of the "Bhakti" made us start our trekking a little earlier.
              The travails of travel not visible,we started our hiking in much high spirit.With some checkpoints halting our march,we fled past the calling by- street vendors.The circuitous sidehill road took us past several shops ,some selling music,some mountain delicacies,some the paraphernalia people take to the temple like bandanas,sweets,framed photos of the deities,ringlets...the whole atmosphere was rife with a ingrained frenzy.

                    
 The mules carrying the incapable and braving those who wont take the toils and moils racing past,their masters caning them for being slow,groups of people going together briskly walking and singing peaens,old ladies braving aching leg,the sadhus draped in all saffron and sporting a beard worthy of years of meditation..all of these add to the majestic atmosphere.But the appetizers were just whetting my apetite.I knew the real meal is up there,atop the jagged cliff of the noble mountain.
                              The weather was in no mood to relent though,the sun making dangerous faces was making us drink more and more water.My hike was getting laborious.I was the black duck.I was hampering the progress of our group.Constantly puffing,coughing and panting ,I was sapped by the heat rays and the humidity.But still my mind was in the right place.I struggled to keep the pace with the rest of my pack and was soon lagging behind.
                      The pain was instant.The creature still clinging to my tshirt.The sting bore deep in my skin.I was just bee stung 3 seconds ago.A warrior bee like a torpedo fired towards me,came from a sweet shop and ahoy suddenly i felt an injection of searing heat.I took out the bee tough,now a spent force with its sting being half broken and the half now residing peacefully within me was a creature to be pitied.Neways,as this happened i got too much behind and got a crocin and some water as a punishment.
                            It seems the bee has afterall been a nice omen.The weather suddenly improved in leaps and bounds.Rain started to pour,washing away all of our tiredness and ofcourse my chest pain and gave our journey a new philip.As i was drooling over the prospect of improved weather with a cup of tea to boast,i suddenly realised that my backpack was too heavy and shouldnt have brought this much of luggage with us.As the trek got higher,the surroundings turned foggier,the crowd thinner some languishing some ahead,my legs turned to logs demanding my foot to pound more to carry them.Meanwhile we laughed our way,with each of us taking dig at each other`s pace.Challenge it seems transcends every pain.The visage of the mountain now had a snowy tinge to it.We were just about to reach our first destination.I realised that very day how my stamina has depleted over the years,i rued the computer games,i rued the studies.

    
The light shone!The resplendence unmistakable.The concourse teeming with every passing second,the enroute to the main shrine now had the look of beeline.Started by taking a holy bath,we waited in the queue for good part of 3-4 hours.Then we were free.Free to go and wash our karmas.The all pardonable ,the all alms giver,the evil decimator,the all wish fulfilling vaishnodevi Maa was calling our hearts.Only a glimpse!Only a flash!,thats what i got to see of the sacred shrine.The three natural stones depicting three Devis.But was worth it.Every second of it.

               I kind of missing some details here,but i think we ate something before we moved ahead.And then the conundrum.Whether to go down to rest and sleep which we all needed badly enough or muster a bit more of our energy for the hike to Bhairon`s Shrine.Interesting story is the bhaironath`s,one which i watched in a movie and to my surprise the same movie was played everywhere.According to some well preserved legends,the trip to the vaishnodevi shrine is understood incomplete if you miss to pay homage to the vaishnodevi blessed bhaironath resting place.And who were we to question the authenticity of  legends? So we took the call in vertical direction.
            Still a good 1-2 hours upward steep climb remaining,we were trying out new tricks to save energy.Coulndt stop also,as some wise men said if you stop you would never be able to get up.So had to keep moving.Tried walking backwards to rest my hind legs.Nearly got tipped off the cliff in doing so,i received a rap on my knuckles from my elder brother.Ably supporting me,he carried my backpack for me seeing me bee stung and all.And after a back breaking,leg shaking ascent we were atop the resting place of baba bhaironath.
                       Didnt took us much long to start our descend.The mind was feebly awake to the pain in the legs.The heart was heavy with divinity.Two options of decent were with us:stairs or the circumventing road.The path didnt matter though.The road that goes to the ultraconscious mind was already underway.Just putting one feet after another that too unconsciously and letting the cool breeze carass the hair,having the sweet smell of sweets fill the nostrils,having the ears being driven in ecstacy by the sounds of the bells being rung,the hymns resonating driving the mind to soundless sopor....All of it was so surreal.
      And then something real cracked in the heavens,and they poured!It started raining bells and whistles(cats and dogs arent apt here).And we scurried for shelter.The poor mules and horses got a big reprieve.People in scores got under the shelter tailor made for such a natural fury.As they say ,be careful what you wish for...god have a tendency of giving out in nimiety.

              
   Even the heathens would agree that the place had an aura.Even when you are just sitting idly waiting for the rain gods to finish their uploading,the prayers kept coming.Prayers of lacks and crores of individuals have taken the place of microbes in the air.And the familiarity to godliness wasnt endemic to only this holy shrine.They say that the entire region is blessed.I was left with several wishes.People come here with prayers,wishlists to be granted by the almighty.But suddenly and surprisingly i realised i didnt wished for anything.Infact i was leaving the place with a bagful of more wishes,more contentment,more peace.The prasad that we got with ourselves was something that was testimony to the celebrations that took place that day.Celebration in our hearts!

     All these thoughts criss crossed my mind as we finally arrived down .I thought all my life we have been making a mountain out of a molehil.The things we strive for,the things we kill for,the things we put our heart and soul for...viz money,women(men for women!),fame,comfort,power...are such petty and inconsequential materialistic pursuits...they dwarf in comparison to one alit heart!

The heart that is alit is tantamount to thousand  pilgrimages....


PS: visit the holy shrine if u havent still..be at Peace..Jai Mata Di!!!

InCoNgRuOs InErTiA...

What if i am powerless to write a blog ?

The day my hands are hacked off,the day my eyes are impaled,the day my brain is addled...that day i wont be able to write anymore.

What a beautiful nightmare that would be.Only that i am not the one on the good books here.I would stare in the abyssmal depths of my incongruous mind that would never return the favour.My thoughts though will be there somewhere playing hide n seek with me,luring me to have them escribed.But that condition would be bliss.No expectations,no anticipations,no feedbacks...just me and only me.
  The Shangri-La of my dreams constitutes of a place where everything is understood,my emotions,my desires and are expeditiously fulfilled.No praying to a higher force,no cribbing about luck,no fueding with wrongdoers,the only thing one would be doing is revel.The Pair of pennons when flapped would take you soaring to the acme.The earth`s crust immense heat would tingle you.A wonderla when comes to you unsolicited,you wont do anything.
                       United thoughts,undifferentiated efforts,seamless acts that would transcend the ordinary are ingrained in having no life.
Life itself spells trouble.
L->liabilities
I->injustice
F->(un)fairness
E-> Expectations
       Lifeless forms are the happiest.Or rather are non-existent to be bothered about it.I wonder if i happen to be able to talk to a mountain,home to myriad species of life forms,what is would resonate in its thoughts?Agnoy on being standing still since ages?Pain at bearing so much on its countenance?Anger at being forced to spit fury from time to time?

                  
Or it would be a blank sheet?An understood emotion?And how would i feel to be made a star which just shines?Our outward thought process is governed by the intake of emotions from outside.Just imagine if nobody had told us what is the meaning of victory.When we would have understood the term from.The power to feel,care and reciprocate if completely taken from you would just make you the most powerful.Its a paradox!Those who seek power are the ones who dont have it.Those who seek love are the ones who are kept deprived ofit.Those who spend their lifetimes trying to earn more are those who dont know the power of 1 rupee well spent.We are at a great disadvantage.God tricked us.He made us only human.
             But as i was saying if i was given a privilege of getting rid of all my 5/6/7 senses(god knows how many i have!),i would not be able to write.That can be a good news for many readers who would be spared of my clappertrap.I sincerely believe in simplicity,the lesser complexity,the better.The lesser number of thoughts going around the better.I would appreciate if there`s a chip that formats my brains memory of all the garbage details.
                  I wonder why i run away from me.Something about me is decaying.That must be the feeling that overpowers the female fraternity when decide to take a hike instead and miss me.Though i am aware of my troubles,i am most reluctant to make an effort to solve them.But there are anchors.They hold me,they make me stay afloat,they keep me sane.
               What power i wield ?My hands are not my servants.They have mind of their own.They write when they feel,they speed over the QWERTY,they flourish through the paragraphs.I dont have any hold over my senses,its the other way around.With additional amputations my power wont diminish,it cant.But what i can get is freedom from the liability of having to fake the power.
                   I never learned the art of becoming a fierce competitor.Just watered down player may be but never a threat,never an opposition to be counted.I have denied myself.And others.But as this blog is going haywire and is ideal time for closing it,i declare closing of the chapter of conservatism of my life.                      

WHEN I WILL BE POWERLESS AND THOUGHTLESS  IN THE TRUEST SENSE, I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON...            
            

Future is not only bright...its going for a supernova ..

A brief future of my time..

I like all people out there crave for success.I would like to bask in the glory light.I would love to be adored,appreciated and ofcourse loved.A very simple thought alias wish.But if i am striving for these things to materialise,at the same time a polarised force is in constant motion to negate my moves.Even if we are running a race that is on the different tracks,my nemesis has the power to render me diffident while i chase down the horse of success.
                       Chasing this white horse is a task hitherto pursued by many,but a few have been able to maintain their energy reserves for the length of the track covered by this quadruped.And whats worse is that once you get hold of this beast,it is never in the mood to be tamed.constantly hinning,rejecting your advances,it stamps its foot on your carrassing hand,it shakes off your climbing legs.The bad part is to know how to tame it.Contarary to popular belief ,nobody can be taught how to do it.That is because every horse is custom made and requires your sheer willpower to goad it to submit.The worse is yet to come ,success once tamed needs to be harnessed in the most appropriate manner.If the fastings are incorrect(read your morals and thoughts),the restrains a little too tight or light,you can fall from your seat of honour.The beast wont stop!
                  I dont want to taper off.I dont want to be weared down.The last thing i want is to be sitting idle waiting for that plug to be pulled.But the dices arent being fair to me.They are loaded with my preconcieved notions,my traditionalities,my disbeliefs.The future might want to carry me with speed of light,but i am still lagging in boarding the time machine.The first move has to be from my side.I will make the first move.
                 In my kindergarten days,i dreamt of becoming a soldier.A childhood gun fetish made that choice easy i suppose.Guns Became smaller progressively and soon was reduced to a pen.sports caught my imgination for period,but then again the handle of the cricket bat lost its grip to the grip of a fountain pen.Education ruined me.Otherwise i too would have made it to heaven with my brethren at dantewada or kashmir.
                                 What i want to do?The question has bugged me for a eternity.Everyday some self introspection is in order.Have i got myself into a mess by taking engineering as a career choice,a path i knew nothing of and wasnt sure till i got the job what i wanted to do with it?
                             When i look at my future,i see a light beckoning me.Thats the faint outline of man`s silent companion known in our heart as Hope.Several threads of thoughts come to my mind when hope feeds the yarn-ball of positive inspiration.Day in Day out,hope tricks me ,sometimes it vanishes for a luncheon,sometimes it sits with me and babysits me,sometimes it psychiatrist me into oblivion and other times it deserts me and i find myself parched in the desert of my unfullfilled desires.Waxing and Waning,this bullwhip effect of life wants me to unleash my deepest and darkest energy reserves.
                       Several imaginations and creative flashes pay a visit to my grey matter daily but due to dearth of any anchor to harpoon them,the ship sails on in the waters of uncertainity.But After "Viente y Cinco Anos",i think i am given another life term.Its like getting another jail term without parole but atleast in this term i know for what crime i am convicted for! I am slowly geeting hold of my sane screws and tightning them with the seemingly 'Gone For A Burton' ideas and revelations about self.
                  As for my future,i hold only myself responsible and accountable.Though life is a congeries of several actions,emotions and tribulations,its we who are ,in the end, at the end of the stick.It would be classified as a solecism if i blame someone else for the rocking of my boat.Jactitation is a very bad idea,especially for someone like me,so i prefer to oppugn my position as the beholder of my achievements.
                                  The parturient mind languishes in the pain.The ideas spew forth.Defalcating the emotions of others to tend the lacuna of fulminating emotions in self is a fallacy i want to obliterate.The aggression in pursuing the solutions should be sparked from within,though over the years i have learned the art of having a facade that gives nothing away,one would want to have that vent rather than simmering thoughts reducing your demeanour to chips and cracks.
               Several things i want to do in life.Some sane ,some not so sane.I am going against my grain,going against my usual veil of secrecy to reveal those things ,first to myself and also to others.And the pleasure i am getting here is like having being released on an anticipatory bail.I want to scale Everest: well thats like a pinnacle of adventure and has been calling out to me since ages.I want to save a life:Just to please the side hero in me,waiting to be counted.I want to have my family take the world tour with me:Atleast for a year i think!
I want to caress the lions and feed a comodo;i want to let an anaconda slip its grip on me;i want to ride that rhino and tame that elephant;i want to soar with that eagle and want to watch that horizon from the treetops like a lemur:Speaks volumes about my nature and animal love now isnt it!
                                       Gazing with a telescope into the future tells me vivid things,some certain some dicy.Gazing back at the past from the other end of the same telescope gives me flashes and images of my past,both good and bad,but i cant remember it all.So the learning is:: Its only the present you can be certain about as well as can remember,so make the present your dream holiday home.
              "Learn from the mistakes of the past,Gaze and dream about the future,albeit with a clear conscience and steady nurturing of present"

A Philosophical Soup For The Soul...

Selling my soul to myself and then haggling over the price....


"I wont buy",saying this i move forward!
 The shadow runs after me, offering a better barter.But i dont budge.I cajole him further to release his Purse-strings further.And finally he concedes to my ploy.As he pulls me back,i sense my blood cells doing a victory march and saluting my shrewedness by having the pilous stand up in unison.
                           The realisation that i have just duped myself doesnt even cross my two thinking hemispheres.This is a iterative process,a Recursive function wherein your mind thinks that it has outwitted itself,whereas the truth is that it has been outwitted by itself.The paradox doesnt solve itself,but instead it grows on you.
                              Taking the liberty of Sphinxing myself,my whole persona embodied in a creature yet undiscovered,i see the trickery that forms the core of every organ and every cell of my running crimson fluid.My heart cheats my brain,my brain does a double take on my heart,my legs lie to my back and my back pains in retaliation.The whole system, the entire magnus opus is crooked,jinxed.Yet it runs smoothly.Such are the times.
                        I sell my soul! At every possible nook and corner.The return i get is a tarnished part of my soul.Day in and day out it withers,it wears out.I didnt ask the expiry date of the latest medicine i bought last but i should have asked it for the supposedly innate panacea.The form of life that we become over the time distances our soul from itself, a mere spectre of its former self,a mirage,a diluted reflection, our soul thins by the day.We can feel the reverberations when we call out to our soul,it is so far off,we have left it behind,somewhere in the dungeons of time.
           They say human body is a machine,i say it is a business.Wherein the players work in unison for the sole purpose of survival.Corruption rife,the powerless give way to the wielders.I see my soul chained.In all directions.It cannot free itself of the restrains unless the restrains choose to do so.Stretched in countless vectors,it hangs on and passes us a trick image of its well being.The guile is good.The veil opaque.We cant see the hidden intent,but we trudge along.I find myself master and the slave of myself at the same time,possibly seperated my the smallest unit of trickery.The modes keep me mutated yet sane.The feeble voice of the whistleblower doesnt reach my eardrums,i have programmed it to be routed to my voicemail.With the voicemail account becoming ancient,piles of files of unresolved issues fill up the cabinets of my darkest secrets.But i have lost the key to that cupboard.Maybe on purpose!!
       The sage within me craves for salvation,the crook demands easy money,the lazy lad despises hardships and the wise one wants just a smile.If i hire a marketing manager from a decent B school(IIMs are not in budget,say IIFT :P),to capture every needs,wants and desires of my soul of just a single day,i would fail to pay him enough and on second thoughts,he might refuse the job profile himself seeing the utter insane nature of my wish list.For the most part of my life i see back i telescope a person with no vision.Just a blank boy!Just a bland boy!
                 With no harms my way,i choose to run along the sidewalk,the road kept calling to me.The wings flapped, enticing me!The eyes sending love bytes to me,but alas my downloader wasnt installed.My risk taking glands dysfunctional,i never went down the lane of uncertainity.Playing safe is my Achilles Heel.I wait for a Hector to instigate the lost gambler.Sometimes i feel like a random number generator.I beg to be absolved of this business,I cringe at the sight of my soul and then i also rebel,i hurl vindictives towards all and sundry for making me the person i have become.Its like a Split personality syndrome.
         My mouth though a tad silent,my heart a little less expressive,my brain a little less showoff,my legs maybe somewhat lazy levers,all of these are under my control.But the main question is,am i in control of myself?The macrocosm that is governing the microcosm within is dangling the strings.I am not the culprit.Ask the person who hardwires everyone`s destiny what he was upto when he wrote the XML for my life.
                          Don`t blame me !! I am forced to sell my soul!! I am forced to partake my soul as my feast!!
                      And that too on discount!!! How lame....        
      

Let there be light ...

A Day Without a Night to Awake...
A Night with no light today... 

I am falling.The lights fading.Everything is a blur of racing images and flying past visions of horrifying pasts.Then my mind is suddenly bookmarked to that one incident.
And i start crying ....

The mind plays tricks of its own.It kept telling me to give upon it and suddenly i received the nerve tingle to go ahead and do it.So unusual!So very bemusing!I was so close to it,i also wanted it,but i was rendered handless and possibly mindless too!The glory days were numbered,i knew it..i had a hunch.
    Starting in a retrospective mood ,my mind wanders..Am i in a dream?Is this real? can`t be..then again ..the air i am inhaling is the same,imbued with the waft of salt from the nearby sea,the sight is known,the act well versed with all the soliloquoys known beforehand as if rehearsed since eternity.Still i cant make the difference, maybe its not a dream afterall,maybe i am inside my mind only,searching ,gnawing,surfing the thought waves for that tiny known detail which will tell my disposition.
                Something wakes me from my reverie.The day is up,the night is gone,the confusion washed away, the muddled brain revving up the logical engines.I tell myself to believe it.To soak in the brilliance,to revel in the revelry,to assiduously give pleasure bouquet to my heart whilst i can.The hope hiking to the summit meets the downgoing despair.Having suddenly found my voice,i choke at the prospect.There is so much to do,have lost so much.Plethora of opportunities start mailing their curriculum vitae,but i have lost the zeal to hire.Then i know what it takes to bite more than you can chew.I was suddenly thrown into a magic box with all my wishes already fulfilled and granted.Busy as a bumblebee i start collecting trophies,i start garnering all the goodies with both my hands.
            Fortunes swing! I know about the cycle!It will turn again!But till that time let me know no limits,let me get lost,let me not know my miseries,let me be oblivious to the fallacies that have stared in my eyes with their huge mocking eyes.

         There`s no light today.All is pitch black.My eyes are rummaging in the darkness.But my heart is alit.The hope that was kindled still burns.The guiding light restrains me from putting the reins on the dark horse ,instead goading me to try the new white beast.I ask a question!I was not born that way,was I?I evolved into something alien.But the alien isnt flashing a gun,instead it is equipped with two antennas that sonar the path of wisdom.Now i am not bound.I look at myself and see a reflection that smiles back.The teeth grinding has been dealt with.Instead they let the lips part away to let the light reflect of them.

                    
 Looking at the newfangled sun,my eyes secrete water.The sun in all its radiance is a menacing opposition.Tasting success once and calling success your staple food should logically be in different languages.The crown is a burden.The throne a bed of venemous snakes.Unleashing potential and leashing your mind over the euphoria arent exactly a recipe of a novice chef.Emmersed in all sparkle,i wait to let the humility take the shine and store it in the right place, in reserves,to be used later in times of distress.
Lesson learnt,i saunter with pride.
                      I am awoken!! not to the light, neither by the night , but to myself.....      

              

ThE cOdE oF lIfE tHaT gOt tHe vInCi BuRiEd In My HeArT sHiFtInG iN hIs GrAvE ...

Creativity kills innocence.Innocence if absent leads to knavery.Knavery is stencilled in a mind full of ruses.Ruses demand creativity.

The above conundrum is not logical.Neither it is making any sense.But for some people being devoid of sense is the most sensible thing.I hate to make comparisons,but i  find my sense very common in this world whereas according to this world, common sense is not very common to my senses.An artist when left with no inspiration to draw will meander helter-skelter and will bump into a mediocre rationalisation of his own thoughts that beg him to be inducted.Our mind is full of thought layers.The top layer is the layer of the rehearsed:we eat by taking the morsel via our hand(Right/Left doesnt matter) and shoving it doen our esophagus.The layer below is the layer of experince: dont let the boss know you are not working and you will be fine.The layer which is lowermost is the meditative layer,the layer of deep understanding,the layer full off blue water,the layer full of pitch black space,the layer of life code.
               Philosophically preaching to someone might not be a very good idea as we all have a deep understanding of how to decipher the meaning of a certain blip in time.But its the conscious level i am talking about here.The more enlightened we are about our ability to think beyond our mundane and moribund thoughts,the more sane we are.Mollycoddlying or spoon feeding is something that hampers growth,of the mind and of the soul.The morse code of our thoughts which in a fleeting gesture makes us cringe and in another makes us become subservient to our epicurean instincts is highly ingrained in our complex nervous filigree and demands its deciphering by constant rebuttal of negative thoughts.
        When sir arthur conan doyle gave the man from london the acute sense of grasping clues and resolving mysteries,he must have actually himself waded though those mysteries first.When we see something as complex and untenable,our natural reaction is to avoid seeking the answers.But greatness comes from seeing the simplicity in a complex scenario,seeing the word in a sentence,seeing the fading and sly smile on the face of mona lisa!Authoritative interference when coupled with our innate fear of being underprepared to handle the vagaries of destiny may render any weak(read: not awoken) soul gasping for deliverance.But the undercurrent of our life is the way we mould our clay,the underpinning question of "how we handle things,rather than how others have handled it before" if answered with prudence and enduring strength, will lead to the key of all that is unlocked.
             "Too long we have denigrated our lives,too long we have lived in darkness,too long we have groped for the unknown strands,for eternity we have fought the battle that started,raged and proliferated within our minds only".Its time that we dont bow down,we understand the understated,we let our hair down.Going by face value,we cannot look down upon those who failed in this grail quest.We all have tried to crack the code of life,some of the enlightened ones were allowed to pass in the realms of unclouded certainity,some are still left in the lurch.
                 I long to be free from the shackles of dependence on others,to be complete in my own right. I long to let my creativity flow in the glacier of unmindful and lawless brand of thoughts.To move in tandem with yourself dayin & dayout is a big challenge.Measuring my patience against my own will to break rules,i find that there is a hiatus in me achieving complete dominance over my insticts.When i create, i look for life in that creation.When a face stare at me after i have scratched my pencil for some hours,i long it to be all that what i could not be.Creativity gives us an escape route from the reality,gives our mind a narrow alley to go to and hide when confronted with harsh realities.But i like to be creative.I think ,all the time.Even when i am lost in the dark and unidentifiable territory of my dreams i am nothing but in limbo between my thoughts and my fantasies.Its like i finally get the license to go and live my fantasies without inhibiting my thoughts.    
                              Words belie! They deny us!They dont speak our mind.They are diplomatic servants.All we have to do to let them have their snake like tounge infest our hearts and fill our praise hungry mind to brim and Ahoy!! we submit..Human tounge in partnership with the lacuna of positive thoughts creates a grim situation.We should think more.Saying less doesnt help either.Our thoughts if orchestered properly are more like a waltz,albeit without a partner.We crave for a thought partner.I do!I want someone to share most of my thoughts( i cant divulge all now can I?).Someone who understands the unspoken,the unstated ,the imperceptible to others.We look for eyes with assurance,words that care,touch filled with compassion and a heart that beats in our symphony and beams with its counterpart.The outgrowth of our reach seeks new hosts to parasite.Its time we do some serious soul searching.
          Our pursue to seek solutions to all our problems and bring an end to the abberrations is a never ending one.It is the drive that we live with and if all our problems are resolved,we would better be making our way towards fire atop 4 shoulders.
Think about it!!!

      

Love Thy Oneself....

Palmus Autem Habet Quattuor Digitos...

We know the proportions.We know the genius that was in'vinci'ble,who drew the sculpture to be framed in a circle and a square simultaneously.Human body is a work of a greater genius.when i am writing this,i am marvelling at the coordination between my thoughts,my knowledge of language,my speeding hands over
the keyboard,and my eyes.

                
But i sometimes despise my body.We all do!We love to hate our frame.We perceive our body as a can full of worms, a closet full of unidentified skeletons,a home to myriad restless and uncalled for troublemongering visitors.Our such "accurate" and belittling portrayal of the greatest machine on earth begs a question.Have we fully understood the potential?have we missed the beat?have we rendered the masterpiece to become a distended caricature of itself and banished it to the Air-conditioned hallows wherein its reduced to being nothing more than a mocking souvenier of our neglect and apathy?

                  
When i walk and there`s ample light to create the other blackened "Me",i rave about my existence.I talk to my shadow.My shadow though part of my existence cannot become part of me.It feels envious.And a playful smile makes its debut on my countenance.I know my body is not perfect.But i also love
it.No,i am not having a fit of narcissism.I am just reveling in the knowledge of my lack of knowledge about my torso.Havent seen my back in recent months,havent met the mole that resides on neck,haven`t tended to the gaping gap in my head hair that tell the tale of some stitches on my skin.But all are part.But all are me.But all are what gives me the feeling of "ME".

                              But what if our eyes can see all?what if our back spines were extended to give us flight?What if our body no longer remains a body and becomes a super structure? Wont it be nice to fulfill our fantasies.,to fly ,to capture every moment we see,to breathe in mariana trench ?I also dream.But every morning i am with my normal body,full of injury marks(was a playful kid i was!!),full of saturn rings aroud my tummy(havent excercised in ages!!),with a forehead that is a sweat factory,with a mind that thinks and writes too much!!!
Ya..But i kinda like it,being me..If any person comes to me and asks me,U r ugly ...i would say ..but you are beautiful..atleast that proves my eyes are fine and working.

    
But suddenly just out of curiousity, i ask my ever wondering and thoughtful mind(just cajoling it!!),what if our eyes can record every moment we spend.Every attosecond if be stored in the annuls of our fat spaghetti shaped pair of hemispheres sitting underneath the jungle of pilus,what consequences it will hold for our mundane and continuous lives?My mind is out of its processing power to answer this,as this holds endless possiblities.It will careen our legs,addle our brains ,in short will render the system unstable.If i can see the moment i was born ,wont i be horrified at being seperated from my life support with my mother?If i can see the first time i did wrong to someone,wont i feel pathetic and the first thievery act of mine surely will force me to regurgitate the nice food i just had.On the flipside,It will show me the the beautiful rains,eye-blinding gorgeous sunrises and every other beautiful moments of my life all over again.What i would like to see? the day i recieved my first star in the homework copy?the time i made my parents proud?the time i got my first toygun and when i was happy as a hyena?...Maybe!!! or Maybenot.

                  
 I want to build muscles like Arnold,i like to run like Bolt,i want to swim as phelps does,i want to punch like tyson.Many things i like my physical form to do and achieve.But the illusion of what has been deemed as acceptable and great by our minds is deciphered very cleverly by my heart.I know that beauty lies in not only the eyes of the beholder but also in his thoughts.When i see this world`s running after hazel eyed,fair skinned,sumptuous,long legged,curvacious and sometimes bootylicious damsels,i fear at the insecurity that millions of girls the world over feel.I personally feel that the real world is what we have at our homes,rest is a facade of fake face that this feigning and frightning filled world attempts to hide under the
cover of glamour and the green paper.

                                
They say that this body is a myth,destructible mirage,and the real solace lies in peasing the inner self,viz the soul.But since in our lifetimes,both of them are tied together why not have them as romeo and juliet rather than the Ambani brothers.Our body creates for us hunger,lust,pain...which undoubtedly are the chieftains responsible for most of the world`s unjustness.But it also creates emotions,when we feel pain,we cry..,we share other`s pain,when we feel elevated our pilous seeks attention,when we let our set of 32 shine we infuse a wave of felicity.When we work for the whole day ,sweat dripping profusely,head ringing,muscles all string taut and tired...then when we come home to the welcoming shower,to that steaming cup of coffee,to that smiling faces waiting at our homes,we feel elevated...we feel only bliss...our pains vanished...
PooooF!!!!

Make your body talk ...Make your mind think ...let your soul set free...
lets be proud of ourself... and keep smiling...