Monday, October 25, 2010

Dont Wait For Love...Feel It...

"Seldom I felt you" ,"Often I waited"

Are you within me or it is just that air that shivers past in your lacuna? I can`t answer this.My lips quiver but they fail to meet.Your absence is one big truth but your presence is an even bigger truism.
   Laggard as I`ve been,I still beat those who feel that life`s a race ..I know better.I know its not about who finishes atop but about who finishes.My patience waivers,yet I wait.Irritated,I often chuck the threadball of romance out of the window,but I found much to my chagrin and in equal measure delight that its one end is always tied to my heart sleeve.Impossible to seperate,I coil back the inhibitions.
        Every other face I cast my steely eyes on,I see you,I expect you.I anticipate that surprise thump on my back from the alley corners I frequent.A face,unblemished,full of sunny disposition beams at me with all its strength.I feel that radiance,that power which helps me define you for you.You are everywhere,yet you are uncommon, a unique expression of my heart.
                

Easy to give upon you I say,but don`t listen to me I insist.Talk to me or else let me enjoy the bliss.Your presence is not evading,it is just fleeting.A non person description won`t suit upon you,neither it`ll fit your presence.You deserve much more,much more than my heart filled with anguish,much more beautiful than the half baked-half setting sun,much lighter than the lightest hair of my eyebrows that fall on my request to fill my deepest wishes.I define you as much as you define me.I say the wait kills me,but it also makes me immortal to your antics.Neither I accept the loneliness nor I give upon my right to protest your absence.
              In dreams you are there.You come as if it is you who are seeking me.Comforting as your presence is,I treat myself to your absence sans dreams.
Reality is absolved and silence is left alone when you take over my conscience.You never were any problem however.The problem was never your absence ,its only your promise of absence that creates a minor quake in my left aorta.Sprouts like promises and passion accompany the nurturing of our sacred love tree.The threads of your unremebered memories and untraveled heart lengths weave around the web of our union.Semblence of your heart ramblings echo in my feet-ebbs,as I trample down my misgivings.
                 Now I believe.Not that I ever questioned my belief.Yet it takes more than your constant absence to make me loose my saints.Sanity was never bequeathed to those who choose to remain in love abyss.I gave upon mine to match yours.Special sweetness awaits one who meets the hell raisers.
            They say I am not bothered.Well they don`t know me.I am just not aware.Elusive to my own mind,I catapult my vision to your incoming.sliding the door,I let you enter.All whitened,all embossed,you show me my face.I see you.you see me.We both see only one person.How enchanting!How ingenous!!God`s ruse to save effort on multiple identities.Your union with me was never a question.The only mystery remains is who would shatter the self focussing mirrors of the glass chambers,who would wake the dream,who will be the first one to drive the hammer to the nail head?
          Pain awaits me,yet I excitedly look forward to it,disappointment lures in shadow,yet I am ready to welcome my long lost brother.your absence lingers,yet I draw upon reserves to fight off meeting blues.Nerves wreck havoc,heartbeat dance to the death tune,mind wanders hither thither,cajoling me,goading me to give in,to submit!,to turn witness to the crime.
                       But I am loyal.I won`t.I will wait.          

Random Musings...