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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Never Mind...

The choice is yours !!!

When I got up late in the night,I was profusely sweating.Mind numb,senses gone for a toss,my throat parched,my eyes still holding the spectre of the last visage of my dream,my head being ripped apart from the acute pain.But!!! who did this to me? and why?

At the crossroads of a life transcending experince,I felt that I had a choice.The arrows towards my choices weren`t bearing any destination per se,but were glowing with the impeding radiance aka the implications of trudging along the said path.Often!I took the wrong turn.Often my mind skewed towards the wrong curve bend of thoughts.The constant ropepulling tug of war between the mind and the body who were pitching their regulations whould land me in a soup.

The free mind which is free from any clutter of choices,being a newfangled dictator,it shrouded my good sense of objectivism.The white & purely virgin plane that hasn`t been marred by the spoils of bad choices,is so much more divine than a mortal state.

We all learn!We all unlearn!!But I forgot to unlearn and hence to learn.With the safe leaving of knowledge,the space for taking decisions was often overparked with the ships that carried and ferried the imposing thoughts of others.The white line of the seperation often found me on the wrong side of things.

In hindsight,I often have fumbled on the eve of the most life changing choices.Being unaware of your follies,being able to connivingly hide your misgivings and gaffes & or being naiive enough not to know what a deal has in store for you is normal.Its like a ladder.Only once you go on climbing further,you realise how unbalanced your climb is.No one is enlightened enough to strengthen their base before they monkey the rungs.The curves of the brain zigsaw are devilish.They transform themselves as one goes along.I no longer enjoy throwing stones at the electricity poles,neither I get any succour from the con that I played on others.The choice of leaving & new inducing pleasure points of life has been a reflexive action.I never by choice left to read my childhood comic books and pick up the literary frescos.It happened!!

Luxury of not being the bearer of the flag when a running track changes in the end demonifies to a peace devouring monster.Being the monster of your own choices is the best throne one can vie for.The weather,the health are all fleeting & out of your field of control.The best choices are made when the occassional hiccup doesn`t derail your progress.The need or better term 'the essence' of being a high energy horse also entails dissipating of numerous storms of the teacups.

The projection of your thoughts on the flimsy curtain of present time would reveal to you how it has been contaminated by the baggage of the past and the throes of an uncertain future.The mind when put on the anvil of choice fears the hammer.If the pain is accepted,the fear obliterated,the shaping would be perfect and the forging immaculate.

The choice which is always with us to entertain is wrested from our control by a combined force that`s being marshalled by the examples that have been set and we have been constantly grawled upon by the paper tigers who fear our inner fire,lest if we discover it,they `ll be cindered in good`ol history.

Random Musings...